Why Every Baby Sleep Website Gives You Different Advice (and Who Should You Trust?)

There has never been more information about baby sleep. And yet, parents have never seemed more confused.

Every day I speak to mums and dads who arrive feeling overwhelmed before we've even started talking about their child's sleep. They've read articles, listened to podcasts, watched reels, joined Facebook groups and downloaded tracking apps. Most have genuinely tried everything they can think of.

What they usually say is something like: "I don't know who to believe anymore."

Honestly, I understand why.

Everyone sounds convincing

The internet has made expert advice available to everyone, which is wonderful. The problem is that expertise and confidence aren't the same thing.

One person tells you babies should always sleep independently.

Another says they should never sleep independently.

Some recommend rigid routines.

Others believe routines are the problem.

Some say every night waking is a habit.

Others say every waking is completely normal.

Most of the time, these people genuinely believe what they’re saying. But they're often looking at one piece of a much bigger picture.

Your baby isn't a checklist

One of the biggest myths I see is the idea that if you simply follow the "right" routine, sleep will fall into place. If only it were that simple.

Over the last 25 years I've worked with thousands of families, from newborns through to older children. I've also spent years working within both private practice and the NHS and CAMHS, supporting families with straightforward sleep challenges as well as some incredibly complex ones.  What that experience has taught me is this:

No two children are the same.

Not even siblings (my identical twins proved this)!

The same advice that works beautifully for one family can make life harder for another.

That's why generic sleep advice often leaves parents feeling as though they've somehow failed. Usually, they haven't. The advice simply wasn't written for their child.

Sleep isn't just about sleep

Parents often come to me expecting we'll spend an hour talking about naps and bedtime.

Sometimes we do. But just as often, we end up talking about feeding, development, temperament, family routines, medical history, anxiety, sensory differences, parental wellbeing or what life actually looks like in their home. Because sleep doesn't happen in isolation.

That's one of the reasons online advice can feel so contradictory. Different professionals are looking through different lenses. None of them has met your child.

What experience changes

After 25 years, I rarely jump to conclusions. I've learnt that the obvious answer isn't always the right one.

Sometimes a baby waking every hour isn't because they need a stricter routine. Sometimes a toddler who won't stay in bed isn't being "naughty".

Sometimes parents have been trying incredibly hard but focusing on the wrong thing because that's what every article told them to do. Very often, we're only talking about one or two small changes. Not a complete overhaul.

"Katie didn't give us the same plan as everyone else"

One comment from a family has always stayed with me. After recommending me to several friends, they noticed something.

"On speaking to friends and family who I had recommended Katie to; I noticed the method she had given to each of us had been different. This cemented for me that Katie really knew what she was doing, as she wasn't simply using the same format for each child. She was taking the time to understand their needs and therefore suggest the best approach for them." 

That's exactly how I believe sleep support should work. Not because every child needs a completely different approach. But because every family deserves advice that's based on their child, not someone else's.

You shouldn't need a degree in baby sleep

Parents often apologise to me.

"I've probably done everything wrong."

"I've created bad habits."

"I should have known."

The truth?

Most parents are doing an incredible job. They're just trying to make sense of an overwhelming amount of conflicting advice while surviving on very little sleep. No wonder it feels impossible.

Sometimes reassurance is the most valuable thing

One family told me they wished they'd contacted me sooner.

"We hesitated for quite a while before contacting a sleep consultant and did lots of research into who to use – all I can say is I wish we hadn't waited so long! Katie was absolutely wonderful. She doesn't sugarcoat anything but gives you all the facts and supports you every step of the way." 

That isn't because I have a magic solution. It's because clarity changes everything.

When you understand why your child is sleeping the way they are, it becomes much easier to decide what to do next.

So who should you trust?

Ask yourself a few questions.

Does this advice acknowledge that children are different?

Is it based on evidence as well as experience?

Does it leave room for your values as a parent?

Does it explain why, rather than simply telling you what to do?

And perhaps most importantly...

Does it make you feel more confident?

Or more anxious?

Good advice should leave you feeling calmer, not more overwhelmed.

If you're tired of conflicting advice...

You don't need another article telling you to try a different wake window. You need someone to look at what's actually happening in your home, with your child, at this stage.

That's what I do. For more than 25 years I've helped families find a way forward that's grounded in evidence, shaped by experience and tailored to real life—not to a one-size-fits-all formula.

If you're ready for clear, personalised guidance, I'd love to help.

Book a free 20-minute sleep assessment call, and together we'll talk through what's happening, what's likely to be getting in the way, and the next steps that make sense for your family.